It is often a shock when you find out that your child is self harming.
Take a breath. You may feel overwhelmed.
If your first reaction is anger, hurt or upset this is normal, but it your child may feel worse. They will be dealing with your reactions as well as the reasons that they are self harming .
Talk to them honestly about the effect that this has on you but do it calmly – in a way that shows how much you care for them.
There are many reasons why a child or young person self harms. Don’t assume you know what they are. Sometimes they cannot say themselves. What do you know about why they may be so distressed right now? Has anything happened in the recent or distant past?
This can include:
Being bullied – at school or online. Many children have a secret online world that they won’t tell you about.
Family events such as bereavement, family breakdown, divorce, conflict at home, sibling with disabilities or additional needs, you or your partner may have mental health issues, be depressed or use alcohol or substances; domestic violence or critical or controlling behaviour.
Anxiety or feeling pressure to succeed. Fear of failure. Sexuality, gender identity, relationships, impact of pornography, fear of crime.
Peer group pressure. This may include their digital world. Do they feel like they don’t fit in? Have no real friends? Been sexting or sending or receiving nudes?
Remember:
Don’t expect them to stop overnight – its difficult and can take time and effort.
Try not to be overcontrolling. Talk to them when they feel like self harming and try to understand their feelings.
Find out about getting help and maybe go with them to see someone.
We will not accept a referral if:
- The young person hasn’t consented
- The young person is currently using class A drugs
- The young person has a recent history of violence or exploitation of others
Get help:
You can make a referral to the wïsh centre here and find out more here (FAQs). If your child is referred to us we can offer you support and guidance.
The YoungMinds website has a section especially written for parents with lots of information about mental health and wellbeing. You can find out more about different conditions, how to support children with mental health problems and how to look after yourself.
Visit: youngminds.org.uk/for_parents